NY Roadtrip!

This weekend Dave and I went to Rochester, NY for a wedding, to visit his family, and for a trip to Niagara Falls. My mom always says, "it's all about the story" which I always made fun of but now use lovingly. And it's true. On Friday Dave and I got up and drove the hour and a half from his childhood home to Niagara Falls. We went to Goat Island on the NY side to check it all out. As soon as Dave and I got out of the car, took one picture of the falls....it started POURING rain which, for me, made it even more fun. The fact that nothing went the way we wanted made me laugh. All week it had been beautiful, sunny, and hot but the one day we decide to go on a day trip outside it pours and is overcast. Too funny.

This is the only dry picture of us from the falls.

We went to the Cave of the Winds which is amazing. If you want some Info about it click on the link. The Cave of the Winds takes you down an elevator shaft and out to 120 feet below the falls. You then walk on wooden planks and stairs and wind your way up the falls. I was amazed by the placement of this, at some points I leaned over the railing looking at the foundation. It was wooden planks resting on giant rocks, I'm impressed that the water didn't wash it along with us away. We made our way up to the Hurricane Deck which is 20 feet below the Bridal Veil Falls. You get soaked by the falls and it's a strong pummeling feeling. Dave kept pulling me back to get closer and closer but already I was getting completely drenched even under my poncho and silly me had my purse with our camera, phones, and wallet so I got out of there quickly as to not ruin everything.

This is a picture of the Cave of the Winds tour. Dave took this from the Maid of the Mist boat that we took to get us closer to the falls. It was an amazing day.

That night we went to Dinosaur BBQ in the heart of Rochester. Apparently it's a famous place and Dave had never been there. We waited for 40 minutes for a table but that gave me time to talk to his parents and his best friend and his girlfriend.  And when we were finally seated the food was delicious. Baker and his girlfriend Allison beat us at the sweetheart's dish. Sadly Dave and I had leftover ribs and they devoured theirs. We wear our shame openly, and will rematch them next time.

AND if that wasn't enough for the weekend...
Saturday we went to the Cornhill fest and visited his old friend. THEN we went to the wedding we had driven there for. The reception was so much fun. We all danced our butts off, and we may have had a little to drink. Dave's dance moves are a combination of embarrassing, hilarious, smooth all rolled together. I've never laughed so much, smiled so wide, or been dipped so many times.

Sunday morning we had breakfast with my cousin and her husband. It was so nice to see them and spend some time together. Then we went back to his house made sure that everyone was alive (from the drinking and dancing) and hung out till we needed to get on the road. It was an amazing weekend and I'm such a lucky girl.

That's my update. Ooooh and I came home to my roommates new puppy Sadie. I just want to eat her up she's so adorable.

TLC

I love pictures. I can be so overcome with emotions from one image it's amazing. MY FAVORITE, and I mean favorite (if they can't shoot my wedding, I'm never getting married) photographers are with Mille Holloman Photography. I could go on and on about their team of geniuses because I look forward to every post they have but I wanted to talk about this one particular picture from today's post.
This shot was taken at the bride's house where the wedding was being held. They had the wedding in the back yard, so nothing about the house was changed, they simply found this, as is, and took this amazing shot. Now what has me so mesmerized about this is the blatant show of hard work that someone has put into their house, yard, and life. It's a testament to the commitment they have to their land, farm and hopefully to the enrichment of their family's lives.

Life and love are hard work and you don't always have some tangible thing to show for it and sometimes even your efforts aren't noticed. Maybe it's just a working relationship, a lasting friendship, or a feeling you have that are your reward. Is that so bad? Could it be enough for you?

Deeper thoughts

Walter and I were talking today about things, and as usual things turned from the superficial into an honest, deep conversation. We ended up talking about perfect partners, relationships, and since my sister has instructed me to blog about "deeper" issues and things, here I am sharing it.  I was trying to remember how this was brought up so I went back into our conversation and found exactly how our topic started. Oh yeah THIS way:

Walter: what do you think of this bet Zach and Jess have concerning you and mawwaige?

 Also....I think I may need a new wallet....it's looking pretty beat up.

Yeah. My roommate and her boyfriend have a bet regarding my current relationship. However there is no money involved, or a bracket with specific dates and if you land closer to the "winning" one you get the pot. Or at least I hope there's not. I think it's just a discussion between the two of them so they can transition into their own plans etc. I'm not going to tell you what the bet is right now because my boyfriend reads this and I'd like to keep him around for a bit longer. Hi Dave!

Anyhow, we got to talking and I ended up telling him about how I carry this list in my purse of qualities and traits my "perfect" guy would have. Now please don't think that when I meet someone during our first date I pull it out and scrutinize him checking off everything one by one. This is like a reminder for me of what I want, and what I should strive to have so that I don't settle. Walter doesn't have a list but I encouraged him to make one, so he knows what he's looking for....eventually. I actually added a couple of things to my list today too after talking it out. After my past two relationships I've learned a little bit more about what I want and need. Today I added fighter, and a communicator. I need someone that is willing to fight for our relationship, who won't just give up when times get hard. A communicator---now I don't think I could ever be in another relationship with someone that didn't communicate. I know it's so cliche to say women like to talk about things and my boyfriend, husband, lover, fiance etc doesn't open up. But you know what? ANY relationship needs open communication to work. It's not healthy to keep things bottled up inside and make the other person guess or leave them completely in the dark. Not to say that everyone shouldn't have their own personal things they keep for just them, but if you're in a relationship you have to be willing to open up and share certain things. By all means you don't have to do a play by play of your day (and then I got up and peed and then I used my new Colgate toothpaste...zzzz shoot me now) but important and significant things should be shared and talked about.

In the end I just want me and my friends to be happy. And I think we all are.

I less than three you...<3

Here's a question I once asked my family and close friends: do you think it's better to love more or be loved more?

Now I used to think that I would want to be loved more (of course, I'm Laurencentric right?) but today I think I would want to love equally.

Is that even possible, to love equally?

As an outsider, do you think you can tell who loves more in a relationship? Can you even tell if you are IN the relationship whether one person loves more?

At a certain point one person obviously loves more (at the beginning of a romance). One person has to be the one to fall first, it doesn't usually simultaneously happen. But as a love grows and develops I think that it should even out.

I have been loved more and have also loved more with the same person. That's the thing with love, at least in my mind anyway, it's something that you have to nurture. Unconditional love (agape) I never felt that I had to work for. I never felt that it would falter or go away. I knew that whatever I did my mom, dad, and sister would ALWAYS love me. Their love never waivers.

Romantic love is what I'm asking about. Now I know some of you read this but I'm really asking for your comments on this one. It's hard to figure out, and it's so much better when it's a discussion. So let me know what you think, I'm not sure how I feel anymore.

au revoir

I've said goodbye to my dear old Facebook account for a while. SHOCKER!!! Yes I know. Calm down, I'm alright I promise.

 I've decided that the 2+ hours I probably spend on it a day could be used for other things. With this new abundance of time I've decided to get through all the books I've recently purchased, maybe attempt going to the gym, and get out and do more. I feel like I stalk people on there. Yes, I use it to keep track of my close friends but if they're close friends they have other ways of keeping in touch with me. Call me and tell me things instead of writing you miss me on my wall. FB is a distraction for me, I tend to check it (because it's on my phone and readily assessable) a million times a day. I would rather spend time catching up on current affairs and having discussions about the goings on in the world than Tiffany Franke's baby gas. No offense.

I'd rather not have a relationship with people via their status updates or photo albums. And I don't really need people that aren't involved in my life commenting on the things I do. And the fact that I've had multiple conversations about why I've gone off Facebook just emphasizes people's  reliance on this website.

So goodbye for now beloved Facebook, I may return but hopefully not for a long while.
Or at least not till August when my best friend says that my hiatus is up...we'll see though.

Um No

Sorry, No offense to this guy but seriously? Really? Gah!

I read today on one of the blogs I follow about proposal planning. Yeah for real. Now I'm all for engagement party planning help, wedding planning, etc...but paying someone to help you plan your proposal? No thanks. You're going to pay someone who doesn't know your girlfriend to come up with something? This is crazy. Call her best friend. Call her mom. Call her long lost aunt that knew her in her pretty pretty princess phase. Call someone that KNOWS her. Hopefully by this point in your relationship you know her well enough to know what she would want and don't need a perfect strangers help.

Marry Me

This also takes away from the intimate moment of it all. Having a photogropher pop out at the same time as being asked that question would probably take more of my attention than the question at hand. As much as I like my picture taken, it'd be distracting. Unless you've got my best friend hiding in the bushes somewhere taking secret photos so that I'm enjoying our moment and not worrying about Franz the photographer getting my best angles then I'll pass.

 But seriously guys...use a little inspiration, pay attention to what she says...and most of all if she loves you it won't matter if you're in the middle of the grocery store or at home making the bed when you ask.

Language

I got an email update from my sister today, and this definition was in it:

Redeem: to buy back, to get or win back; to free what distresses or harms; to free from captivity by payment of ransom; to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental; to release from blame or debt; to free from the consequences of sin; to change for the better; to repair or restore; to exchange for something of value; to remove the obligation of by payment; to atone for, expiate; to offset the bad effect of; to make worthwhile; to rescue.

My sister leads Young Life, which is a non-denominational Christian based youth ministry. She sends prayer requests and email updates about how everything is going and I always find them moving and inspirational (much like my sister). My sister is amazing and I know that when she was speaking about redemption she was talking about Christ and how he died on the cross for our sins. However moving that is for me I think redemption can be tied into all aspects of our lives.

When I think of the word redeem sadly my mind turns to retail. Redeem your coupon for 20% off your ENTIRE purchase. Terrible. What I would like to focus on today though are relationships and heartbreak. Both are a part of life, and hopefully, one day,you'll find one that doesn't end in the latter. However with every break of ones heart (at least with mine) I find it harder and harder to trust and open up. I tend to feel that the new man in my life should redeem himself for the mistakes made from my previous relationship. Completely and utterly unfair, yes I know. I become closed off and don't want to be repaired for fear of getting destroyed emotionally again. But at the end of the definition is says, "to make worthwhile; to rescue." Redeem can mean so many things. It can be an action one takes, or a change of mind in order to "help overcome something detrimental." There's endless possibilities there, and isn't that a great thing?

What kind of redemption are you looking for?

Home

It's been a year since my return to the nest.

It's been a great year. There has been heartache and learning. There's been growth; I've found strength I didn't even know I had.  I got the chance to get closer to my parents, especially to develop a better relationship with my Dad.

The thing with moving home is that it's never the same…you're not the same. I came home older, with my feet wet with the waters of the world. I came home having lived on my own for 5 years. I came home an independent woman trying to transition back into my parent's house, living under their roof with their rules. They were very open and understanding of the fact that I was an adult coming home and they treated me that way. I know my dad especially tried really hard to not use his "dad voice" or tell me what to do. It took some adjustment but I settled in pretty quickly and I feel that I was respectful and they in turn were too.

 Moving out is bitter sweet. As excited as I am to be out on my own again, I'm sort of sad to leave. I've loved having my parents there for me after a bad day. I've loved dancing and jumping around the kitchen with my mom when we're excited about things. I've loved the quality one on one time with my dad that I never really had before. I love Bella. I love that every morning she butts her head against my door and barges in, thumping her tail against my bed, and attempting to lick my face. I love the daily reminder that two people love me unconditionally, that they believe in me, and their support is never ending. 

I'm moving close enough that I'll continue to go to the church we all go to and have Sunday lunch together. I'm sure I'll need my Bella fix too. And if it's been too long since I've seen them they can always entice me to come over with schnitzel night!

So thank you mom and dad…and I'm keeping my key. But I'll call before I come over just in case it becomes a clothing optional house once I leave.

The love of a family is life's greatest blessing

Nightmare

It's 2:00 in the morning and I was just awoken by the doorbell ringing over and over and over. You know how sometimes you hear things and it creeps into your dream until it wakes you up? I thought it was just part of mine, although it didn't fit, and then I heard my Dad putting on clothes and going down stairs. Mind you I live IN the District so I'm a little apprehensive to have  my dad open the door to yell at kids for doorbell ditching at 2 AM so I got out of bed and went to the top of the stairs and asked him if everything was ok. He had just finished looking outside and said it wasn't us, and then he came up stairs and said he didn't remember me coming home ( I was out tonight, but made sure to say hello I'm home when I came home around 10:15 or so because I know they worry.) He said he thought it was someone coming to the house about me. So we hugged and I reassured him I was in fact fine and safe and home.

Life is short and unpredictable. Cherish the ones you love and tell them you love them often. Say kind words instead of harsh ones, take chances, and enjoy life.

Love you guys. Just saying it again in case I don't enough.

Tag me!

I love the Kane 99.5 radio show. A LOT. I listen to it every morning on my way to work. Some of the things on there are ridiculous but I'm entertained all the way to my office. This morning there was a wife that called because she was pissed at her husband for the vacation pictures he posted on his Facebook page. That's right, I'm going to be talking about FACEBOOK (my other addiction) and relationships. I may have brought this up in another post a while ago but I have a new idea!

Anyways, apparently the husband photo shopped his wife so she looked thinner in these pictures, and the wife was pissed and decided to post the real pictures to her facebook page. Nothing like passive-aggressive Internet fighting to challenge a marriage. My new idea is that once you are married you get rid of your own facebook and make a joint account. Instead of Jane Doe, you become John and Jane Doe.  Therefore you both can monitor each others actions. No secrets, no fights, no FB revenge,  and no more "her message was innocent" convo's. It would be up front and open. And isn't that how a marriage should be anyways?

Nobody puts baby in the corner

Every experience in life you come out learning something. You leave taking something with you, whether it's a new outlook, a realization, or a better understanding of yourself.

What I've learned is what I need, and what I want. I know that I want to be stronger and not a follower. I want to stand on my own, and I'm going to. Not that I'm a follower in the traditional sense (beer bong anyone?) but I definitely, these past two years, have been complacent with going where others are. I have made decisions based on others and now I'm ready to do my own thing. I'm ready to find my passion and follow it. If someone wants to be with me, it should be a conversation between two equals about where to go, and what to do. No more waiting and blindly following.

 Silly little girl.

Pop, drop, and LOCK it

Today I stumbled upon a tradition while reading one of my favorite blogs (stylemepretty) which I had never heard of. I was surprised I hadn't heard about this since I grew up in Europe and did my fair share of traveling. Anyways, this is how it goes:  In Italy lovers write their names on padlocks and lock them to bridges and throw the keys into the river. Its said that if they do this their love is locked forever. Romantic...yes I think so. So many people participated in this tradition in Italy that for a while officials were banning this practice. However, this did not make the Italians happy. Those that were banning the love locks were seen as anti-love....which in Italy is not a good thing. 

Picture by travelnevada
There is a Lovelock, Nevada where the above picture was taken.

Image by ngythanh
The tradition also happens in China. You can find lovers locks along the Great Wall of China from lovers who want their love to last as long as the Great Wall stands.

Cute right?

It's all in the details

WARNING: I'm about to be that girl. Bare with all the mushiness, I'm incredibly happy.

Yuck I know.

Friday I left work early and headed to Pinehurst, NC to visit my best friend for the weekend. My wonderful boyfriend hadn't seen me the day before and wasn't going to see me until Sunday, so he met me at the gas station while I filled up my tank. It was seriously only like 5 minutes together, and before I drove off he went to his car and came back with a cup full of red Gerber daises along with a card. It was so incredibly sweet and thoughtful. I couldn't stop smiling all the way down there.

                                                         

I think it's the little things that count. The love is in the details. I mean sure, it's important to know the BIG things too, but to really know and love someone you have to get to know the idiosyncrasies that make them them. The slight twitch they get when they're a little nervous, how they'll try your iced coffee every time but will still hate it, or the way you have to brace yourself for that jump hug you get when you haven't seen them in a while.

(3 separate shout outs!)


Getting to know the details is the fun, intimate part to any relationship whether it is romantic or friendly. I love when people know little things, and when I in turn know the little things about them. It means you're invested and that you care enough to pay attention.

Fresh start..more hangers

I have been going through my closet a little at a time randomly and getting rid of things I no longer wear. However, as Steve has pried dresses I have never worn from my hands I decided that my life is much like my closet. I have a problem with letting go.

I keep a t-shirt because an ex-boyfriend gave it to me. I have a dress because in the off chance I ever go out to a formal dinner I'll be ready. I keep the hoodie from high school because it reminds me of simpler times. The thing is: they're just clothes. If I don't wear them, and I haven't, then why keep them in my closet. Chuck them and make room for new things I will wear. Plus it gives me an excuse to justify another shopping trip!

*here is where I tie it in to my life*
As with my clothes I tend to hold onto things way past the point I should. At a certain juncture I just need to let things go. I'm not talking about anything in particular but giving myself a little friendly reminder. It isn't fair to me or the people in my life. Actions of others in the past I need to forget and learn that it hasn't necessarily set a precedent for how new people will treat me. Every new relationship and journey is different. You just have to take it for what it is, and be willing to explore it without all the baggage from previous people's actions.

"Forget about the people from your past, there is a reason they didn't make it to your future."

Tight Rope Walking

I just deleted what I wrote which was, "I've decided to take this adventure called a relationship." Now I was going to go on to say some things but I'm going to go off on a little tangent, probably only for my own reiteration. I'm not sure if everyone will be able to see what I did wrong there. I said "I've decided" which yes, technically I have decided to open myself up to this possibility, but a relationship is a 2 way street....so I by myself can't decide anything. However, I think my decision may be an important factor since I was the one dragging my feet and flip flopping on what to do...but that may be because let's face it I'm a little Laurencentric. Anyhoo...

I have never been tight rope walking, but I feel like relationships would be like walking on one. You have to have balance, you have to have a goal, and you have to be willing to fall. (Damn I'm good)

First let me address balance. For a relationship to work you both have to feel that you give as much as you receive. If the balance is off, one is left feeling unappreciated, which can pose a problem to any relationship. There has to also be a balance of time together and time apart.

The goal with tight rope walking I'm guessing is to get to the other side (no it's not a chicken crossing the road joke). Being with someone I think you both have to have the same type of goals with your lives. You both can't be going in two way different directions, or how else would you come together? But you also both have to have your own personal goals you want to accomplish.

Falling. With relationships you have to not be afraid to fall in either of two ways. 1) You have to be willing to be open to falling in love and 2) you have to know that there is a risk of it not working out and you ending up hurt (more like crashing and burning than falling, but we'll go with it for now). Falling in regards to tight rope walking, there is a safety net to catch you when you do fall. I have a wonderful safety net. It consists of my family, and my best friends, who help me and support me through all life's dips and valleys.

Regardless of what can happen I'm opening myself up, and I'm willing and ready to take the first step out onto the high rope. Just don't look down.

Technology + Relationships = Disaster

It’s hard to remember what life was like before cell phones, IM’s, Facebook, and 24/7 connection, at least for my generation it is anyways. I can barely remember (but this may have something to do with my TERRIBLE memory) my freshman year of high school before I got my first cell phone. Did people just say, “hey I’ll meet you here at such and such a time”, and then the other person waited for them? What if they didn’t show up? Did you wait, or go on with the plans alone? It must have been such a simpler time.

I’m bringing this up because I’m having issues with technology and the utter 24/7 in your face connectability. Yes, I find it quite ironic that I’m writing this on my blog but oh well. My little rant is more about relationships and today’s technology. It makes it virtually (pardon the pun) impossible to maintain a normal relationship with anyone with the tools at hand.

Examples:

1) After meeting someone at a bar for maybe an hour or two and hitting it off they go home and become FB friends. From there, they do a little stalking of one another (or creeping as my lovely friends in college called it :-) ). If interest is sparked they continue, chatting online, or via text.

2) But then, depending on how much creepin you do, you'll know things about someone that they haven't told you and you can't bring it up or ask them about it because then they will realize just how much time you spent finding out about them. And that presents a dilemma with conversation. Do you admit your creeper ways and just balls to the wall go into, "I saw your pictures of your trip to Italy, I've also been there"? Or do you wait for them to bring it up and feign surprise?

After a break up, it is difficult to see your ex post pictures of themselves having fun or with other people of the opposite sex.

I think after a break up you should delete these people from your Internet life. There is no need to torture yourself by looking at their pictures, posts, or what others are writing on their wall. You don't need to be tempted to IM them drunkenly one night telling them you miss them. Take them off your speed dial, because let's face it butt dialing does accidentally happen sometimes.

I wish I didn't have the visibility with ex's that I do have. Maybe it's time to cut my losses and delete some people. They obviously won't care, and it's so much easier to get over someone when you're not constantly reminded of them by your Facebook newsfeed.

Don't even get me started on text messaging. It is my downfall. I've become so dependent on random texts from "love" interests that I feel neglected without them. I wish I could cut myself off and cancel my text plan, but the fact of the matter is it's convenient. I hate talking on the phone so a text that you're running late is perfect.

The days of face to face are long gone, and I'm going to just have to deal with it. Post on my wall, but please don't poke me, I find it disturbing.