Feelings

Lately my sister and I have been a lot closer than the past couple of years. Maybe it's due to our proximity and the wonderful thing that is Gchat and video chat. I was going through some of my things in my apartment the other day and I found this large pack of old school pictures my sister gave me for some occasion. And I wanted to share them because some are adorable and some are well....just see for yourself.

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1. Easter in Ft. Hood

2. I think Christmas time at Ft. Hood. Look at my precious face. Hahah so expressive...even then. Grumpy pants much? I guess I've always given away what I felt with my looks.

3.Christmas...do you like the geese on my sweater? Katie was the cutest little kid...just look. My friend Natalie in high school for he senior year baby photo used a toddler picture of my sister because she was just too cute.

4. A random collage my sister made of me full of memories and uplifting words.

5. Katie, Saudie, and I in Ft. Hood.--look Spaz at one time you did like animals. lol Yeah sweet bowl cut.

As I was saying my sister and I have always gotten a long but sometimes I have this overwhelming since of admiration and love for her. She's amazing and I'm proud of all she does. This is a random post but she sent out an email yesterday to her prayer request group and told a story about how she used to copy me when we were little and I would make a snack of Vanilla wafers and American cheese. Gross, but back in the day those little sandwiches were ahhhmazzzing. I love the random phone calls I get about her being reminded of our Algebra teacher (yes Katie we were in the same class and I had to pass your A's back and hope you didn't see my C's) would say water and forty in a British accent but nothing else. I love the history we have. And you're the only one that I'll ever have true growing up stories with. I loved being an Army brat and growing up in different countries, and moving but I did miss out on the stability and the life long friends. Not to say I haven't forged lifelong friends (ummm you all know about Megan right?) but they were made later, and though we have wonderful, meaningful, and funny memories together the only from diapers to the grave friend I have is my sister Katie.

Just want to say how amazing you are, how much I love you, and I'm so glad you live by the beach! See you tomorrow my little Spaz Muffin. And to all of my life-long friends I love you guys too. Briggsy I would be writing a post about you too but I can't because I have a speech to give in a year.

I less than three you...<3

Here's a question I once asked my family and close friends: do you think it's better to love more or be loved more?

Now I used to think that I would want to be loved more (of course, I'm Laurencentric right?) but today I think I would want to love equally.

Is that even possible, to love equally?

As an outsider, do you think you can tell who loves more in a relationship? Can you even tell if you are IN the relationship whether one person loves more?

At a certain point one person obviously loves more (at the beginning of a romance). One person has to be the one to fall first, it doesn't usually simultaneously happen. But as a love grows and develops I think that it should even out.

I have been loved more and have also loved more with the same person. That's the thing with love, at least in my mind anyway, it's something that you have to nurture. Unconditional love (agape) I never felt that I had to work for. I never felt that it would falter or go away. I knew that whatever I did my mom, dad, and sister would ALWAYS love me. Their love never waivers.

Romantic love is what I'm asking about. Now I know some of you read this but I'm really asking for your comments on this one. It's hard to figure out, and it's so much better when it's a discussion. So let me know what you think, I'm not sure how I feel anymore.