Life's A Conundrum

This may not be my town, but it'll do for now.
Till I can figure out who I am and where I'm going.
She's slinging eggs and bacon with a college education.
Just hanging out and waiting for a better plan.
she's ok not knowing.
She's young and the world's wide open.

Song: Wide Open
Artist: Jason Aldean
Listen to the song

I'm struggling with where I am, where I'm going, and who I want to become. These are things I feel like most people wrestle with at some point or another but it's what I'm going through now. The fact of the matter is I don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm jealous of those that have a passion for something, and know what they want to go for. I'm happy for my friends but it still makes me envious of their drive and certainty.

Half the time I wake up and go to work and feel like what I'm doing doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I'm feeling that if I don't find out what it is I want, and go after it I will drown in a sea of discontent. On the other hand though, I feel that I'm still very young and I should just enjoy my freedom, friends, and family. Also that I should be grateful for a job that I don't have to think about at the end of the day, or stress over. My feelings differ on a day to day basis on how I feel about life.

Here are some things I do know:

-I want to make an impact

-I want to feel fulfilled

-I want to wake up in the morning and be excited about the day

-I want to see the difference I'm making

-I don't want to let someone be the reason I'm happy
"We must be our own before we can be another's"
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Other than that I'm just trying to figure it all out. I would ask for help, but this is something I have to find for myself. I'm blessed to have such an involved and caring family, supportive and wonderful friends, and God (who does have a plan, even though I may not know it). So welcome to the journey of life, of figuring me out, and finding what I love.

It's gonna be one hell of a ride.